2.06.2015

Awkward Work Dreams And Other Stories

So, let's get back to our roots here--I mean, dreams are in the subtitle of this blog, and I have them like every night.  Plus, why waste a good ready made story, especially the one I had last night?

Since I started my current job, I've had a lot of work dreams about it.  Like an unusual number, for me at any rate--generally my dreams have been more adventure oriented.  I blame the excessive input of science fiction, fantasy, and superhero books, TV, and comics.  Most nights I'm saving the world from the whatever, or being chased by the whoever.  But lately, there've been a lot of work dreams.  Current job work dreams (as opposed to OMG WHY AM I BACK AT FAZOLI'S??!!).  These range from pleasantly bizarre (the one where half of the machine shop was a Chinese restaurant), to annoyingly ordinary (I feel like I should get paid for putting in a shift in my sleep), to well, last night.

Last night involved dinosaurs.  At work.

Have I mentioned that I work as a CNC machinist, not a paleontologist?  And yet, somehow, last night they were excavating three baby t-rexes near the store room. 

Three live baby t-rexes.


 Baby T-Rexes.  The fact that this is a picture of velociraptors is not lost on me.


One of them was going to be donated to a museum or a zoo or something for the science, and we were going to keep the other two for...something....  I don't know what.  In real life we make pneumatic cylinders.  I have no idea what possible application dinosaurs could have to that.  Anywho, the first one sort of starts running around, and I'm like, wow, this cannot end well, I'm getting the fuck out of here.  So, I run through the stock room, and I realize, I'm not making it out of here before those things get to me.  I looked around at my options, and immediately decide that the shelves are my best bet.  Sure, they might be able to climb up the chain link fence (even in the dream I wondered why the store room shelves suddenly had fencing in front of them all the way up--I guess Dreamlands work had been having shrinkage issues or something), but they would go after the easy prey on the ground first.  So I climb the fence.  Partway up, this black guy from the office sees me, and thinks I have the right idea, and he starts climbing, too.  We make it to the top and start clambering around on boxes.  He just sort of collapses on a couple, and then falls.  (We're talking about like 20-30 ft racks.  He did not survive.)  I'm like, damn, and I settle in behind some boxes and lean back to get comfy, at which point I discover that the boxes behind me are much, much lighter than I thought and I go down, too.  At some point in all this, the thought crosses my mind, "Well, I suppose it's better than getting eaten by dinosaurs, right?" 

Then boom, I hit the ground with a resounding thud, breaking every bone in my body and, well, I died.

And then  everything went white and the credits started rolling.

And then I woke up.

On a side note, I think the credits may have been in Japanese and may have included God and at least one of the archangels (St. Michael, specifically).  Also worth noting is that this somehow did not have the proper emotional content to qualify as a nightmare.  It doesn't count as a nightmare unless I wake up crying and/or whimpering.  I actually wouldn't even consider this a bad dream.  But the one the other night where I was being given free kittens and then this giant bug (imagine something somewhere between a shrimp, a chest burster, and a really big, brown silverfish and you've got the idea) ran across the floor and then it was on my arm and I couldn't get it off, that was a nightmare. 

Giant bug on my arm=whimpering and clutching the husband for emotional support

Actually falling to my death=Tuesday



Sweet dreams, everybody!