But since we moved into our house a few years back, it's been a lot more obvious. There's been a steady stream of door to door evangelizers, although we haven't had any at all this year--perhaps my no soliciting sign accompanied by me saying, "You're selling Jesus. That counts," did the trick there. We also routinely get mailers from area churches and flyers left on our door.
Now, typically the flyers are either friendly and welcoming, or tracts demonizing Catholic. There was also that one time we were greeted by a choose your own adventure style copy of the Gospel of John (Read verses 32-34, then turn to verses 2-6, etc). That was amusing. Also, if the author didn't leave directions, you should probably assume that the book was meant to be read in the order it was written. Just saying.
The mailers, on the other hand, are pretty much always invitations to come to services. I have no problem with this approach--it's less invasive than coming to my door, and it's super easy to just toss them in the recycling bin. But every once in a while, one comes in that is just so misguided and insulting that I kind of want to scream.
Like this one:
Because nothing brings people to Jesus like coffee and donuts.
On one hand, I can kind of see the logic. Everyone likes coffee and donuts. Services are usually in the morning, so it makes it easier to get up if you can get breakfast while you're at church.
On the other hand...this is your big draw? I should come to your church for donuts and a Starbucks card? I'm not sure whether to be insulted that you think I'm that stupid, or sad that you're that out of touch. It's a church for crying out loud. People should come to it because of the message you're preaching. Christianity is about faith, not material things. They should be coming to your church because they believe in your religion, not for fucking doughnuts.
But hey, people are leaving Christianity in droves. Maybe this will help get them back?
You have got be fucking kidding me. If you honestly think that doughnuts and coffee will get people back into the church, I've got a fantastic bridge to sell you. People are leaving the church because it lacks substance. They're leaving because they have questions that aren't getting answered. They're leaving because of inconsistencies between doctrine and scripture. They're leaving because they're tired of hypocrisy. They're leaving because what they hear in church is inconsistent with what they know in their hearts. What's coming from the pulpit doesn't jive what their personal experience of God. In fact, their personal experience of God is usually written off--scripture is more important. People are leaving because the most vocal Christians are also the most hateful. People are leaving because they're tired of serving a church that doesn't serve them back.
Having a flashy band and special effects isn't going to fix any of that. A pastor with jeans and tattoos isn't going to fix that. Sending out mailers to let people know that, "Every Sunday is Casual Sunday!" (the last one we got from this church) isn't going to solve the problem. Bribing people with doughnuts and Starbucks cards sure as shit isn't going to solve the problem. At best, you'll get people who just show up for that. Personally, my time is worth more. Literally. An hour at work will get me a lot more than a doughnut and $5 at Starbucks. If churches want to get butts back in the pews, they're going to have to admit to themselves why those butts left in the first place. And it wasn't because they didn't have doughnuts.
It's also not because we don't know what doughnuts are.
