Boy Scout Beer

So, the boy scouts are out right now, trying to sell popcorn.  I had one come to the door, I ducked into Kroger and got asked like three times if I wanted popcorn.  Now, this puts me in a bit of a predicament.  See, I hate it when people try to sell me crap, but at the same time I have trouble being mean to little kids.  (Well, little kids who aren't being brats at least).  I feel like we should make some effort to be nice to them, since they'll be getting treated like crap soon enough. 

As much as I have a rep for hating kids, I really don't like making them cry.

At the same time, I really don't want popcorn.  So I have to politely crush their dreams and watch their hopeful little faces get all sad because I said no.  I'm pretty sure this is intentional (hell, the girl scouts practically patented the routine), but I'm not anymore likely to buy popcorn.  It's not like it's girl scout cookies.

Seriously, who in this country doesn't buy at least a box every year?

And this got me thinking.  I mean, really, popcorn?  Come on.  Surely there's something better that they could sell.  Something people really want--like cookie crack.  I can get popcorn anywhere.  Girl scout cookies?  I have to go through the scouts.  The boy scouts need something like that. 

So, what could they sell?  Not cookies, the girl scout mafia would put a quick stop to that.  Anyway, that's pretty girly.  It should be something masculine.  Something manly.  Something everyone will buy.  Like beer.

Boy Scout Beer.

They could learn about brewing and get a brewing badge, and then go out and sell it and get a badge for that, too.  Think about it!  Even if it's crappy beer, it would still only be available once a year, and people would totally buy it for the novelty.  I don't even drink beer, but I would have to buy a case.  Of course, then again there is the whole liquor license thing, and minors not being able to sell alcohol.  Still, they could do something else.  Maybe root beer?  Root beer is tasty.  They could do, like, spiffy soda or something.  And then you could drink it with the girl scout cookies you saved.

Nah, beer would be better.

Derpy Hooves would also prefer beer.

I want a badge in brewing.