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So, I have issues.  We've even discussed some of them here.  I usually try to avoid going into too much detail because I don't want to  be a downer.  But even my life isn't all ponies and dreams, and I have a confession to make.

I'm not a people person.

No, really, stop laughing.  Some of you already know this, but some of you are slightly misinformed.  I'm not a gregarious extrovert who loves talking to people and hanging out.  I'm actually an introvert who enjoys holing up and would go weeks without seeing anyone if I didn't know how terrifyingly unhealthy it was.  I know for some this can be difficult to believe; I actually had to correct a classmate just the other day on this.  Years of working in customer service and a general desire to please have left me with a great impression of being a people person--sometimes I don't know where the act ends and I begin.  None of my friends from North Carolina will believe this, because that veneer got completely destroyed while I was down there.  But if I come across as cheery and outgoing, it is because of a whole lot of work going on underneath (well, the outgoing part, anyway.  I am naturally cheerful).  I mean, I may come across as Pinkie Pie, but I'm really more like Fluttershy, socially speaking.

And sometimes, this is exactly how I'm reacting in my head.

Now don't get me wrong, I do like meeting new people, and I enjoy spending time with my friends.  But I can't do it constantly, and social interactions tend to be a lot of work for me.  As my fellow introverts can tell you, some people are more work than others to be around, even if you really like them.  Currently, I have a great bunch of friends, the vast majority of which are pretty easy to be around.  And I do need to spend time around them, for my own sanity--if I learned anything from my ordeal in North Carolina, it was the importance of friends.  But I do have trouble with dealing with large groups, even if it's people who I truly treasure.  One or two people--pretty easy.  But once you start getting to about half a dozen or so, I start to get a little bit lost.  And anyone who's ever been to a convention or a crowded store with me knows I can barely handle crowds of people.  Sometimes I wonder if it's some sort of mild latent psychic ability that makes crowds so tough for me.  But combine my introverted nature with a measure of social anxiety, and dealing with a bunch of people--even people I know well--can be a nerve wracking experience. 

Now, I'm not saying I don't want people around at all.  Quite the contrary.  I like to have my friends over and I really enjoy seeing people I don't get to see often.  I also know how much my husband enjoys entertaining, and I know how much fun people have when they come over.  I want people to come over and have fun.  But there are days I can't deal with people.  It happens.  So, if you wind up at our place some night and I'm moody and evasive, well, that's what's going on.  It's probably best to avoid me in turn, because I get snappy, and may lash out irrationally.

Even the quiet ones break sometimes.

I don't like lashing out irrationally, and while I may give off the occasional appearance of apathy and actually enjoying the suffering of others, I don't.  I really don't enjoy hurting other people.  It breaks something inside me.  So, if you encounter me in that mood, feel free to avoid me back and protect us both.

I'd like to leave you with a closing link, and I encourage those of you who aren't introverts (and even those who are) to read it.  It does an excellent job of explaining what's really going on with an introvert, and should give you a better idea of what's going on so I don't freak you out.

On an almost completely unrelated note, don't do a google image search for "pinkie pie and fluttershy."  Rule 34 is a terrible thing sometimes.