A Penis Is Not Required

...to use power tools.  Don't worry, this isn't an anti male post.  I like guys (in their proper place--the kitchen, making me sammiches). 

Mmm, sammiches....

 

However, this is totally an anything you can do I can do better girls can use power tools, hammers, and fix shit around the house post.  So, if you're waiting for me to make you a sammich, well, don't look at me when you need help to replace a light fixture.

Anywho, this is all prompted by a trip to Lowe's this morning.  And, frankly, a good number of trips to Lowe's previously.  My mailbox was a little wobbly on its post, so I went out to get some screws (apparently the previous owner only felt it necessary to attach it on one side) and some nails to stabilize it, and to make it a bit harder for the garbage guy to bump loose with the arm on the automated truck (they just switched our street to those, and there's a bit of a learning curve--he'll get the hang of it).  So, Lowe's is pretty darned crowded, and I have the problem of never being able to find anything in there due to their questionable "organization" (I mean, seriously, sandpaper is in paint?!  Why isn't it in the abrasives section?  Why don't they even have an abrasives section?).  But, on this occasion, I actually know where what I seek is, at least the right aisle.  So, I'm standing there, looking at the wood screws, trying to find some that are about 1/4" in diameter (the threaded portion) when an employee asks me if I need help.  I wave him on, but less than two minutes later, another attacks.  I decide to let him help me, mostly to keep away the other employees.  I explain what I'm looking for and why and make a comment about how the "sizes" on the screw packages make no sense and what does that number even mean?

Before you criticize, the screw sizes bear as much resemblance to any actual measurement of the screw, as women's clothing sizes do to the measurements of a woman.  Seriously, they have two numbers--an even one, which loosely indicates how big it is (a 2 is smaller than a 12, much like women's pants) and then the second number is obviously the length of the screw.

He explains that's how they come.  I comment that it's not how they're made, and we quickly find something that will work for my purposes so I can dismiss his condescending ass.  I can make my own damn screws if I have to, and, excepting very small threads where things get weird, a screw is typically labeled (on blueprints and such) with the nominal diameter (diameter before threads are cut), thread pitch, and the length.  So, for example, a 1/4-12x2 is really about what I was hoping for.  But I don't know, maybe wood screws follow different (and clearly insane) rules.   I generally avoid doing anything with wood, as it just doesn't work right for me.  (The internet tells me that what I was looking for is specific to machine screws, which would explain my confusion.)

I then move on to the other end of the aisle in search of some big ass nails.  The first employee who asked me if I needed help is here, and asks me again.  I'm having difficulty finding anything but the giant contractor's pack of 3 inch nails (I didn't see anything on the side with the smaller packages), so I ask him if they have any smaller packs of big ass nails.  He does not comprehend the question, and starts telling me about the kinds of large nails available.  I explain what I need them for and that I really only need a couple.  He looks at me like I'm crazy, finds me a small pack (they were in a corner, obscured by signage), and I GTFO.

Both salesmen were very condescending, and had the attitude towards me of, "Aww, how cute!  A girl is trying to fix something!  Here honey, let me explain this, it's way too complicated for you to understand."

"I just don't know what went wrong!"

This is not the first time I've had this kind of service at Lowe's (I know, I know, stop shopping there) and I really resent it.  I also resent the fact that if I go there alone, every single sales clerk within a 20 yard radius asks me if I need help, whether I look like I need it or not.  If I take my husband with me, no one bothers me.  It's as though someone has told them, "If you see a woman alone, she probably needs help, but if there's a man with her, he'll take care of it.")  Either that, or they pass along some sort of message to each other, "Did you see that girl with the giant tits in aisle 5?  Oh, you gotta check her out!"  Either, way, I resent the implication and attitude that because I don't have a penis, I can't fix things or use tools.  (I know some of you other ladies out there have probably experienced this as well.)  Not all men are handy around the house or workshop (I cringe to see my husband use a screwdriver) and, frankly, while I'm not up on my household repair (having only had a house for less than a year, I feel justified in this), I probably know at least as much, if not more than those sexist punks at Lowe's, just in different areas.  I'm pretty sure most of them can't operate a lathe or a mill, and I know they know less than I do about running or programming a CNC machine (and I'm just starting to learn that)--if they knew that they wouldn't be working at Lowe's.  There's a good chance they have no idea how to silver solder or do any kind of casting or hot glass work.  Just because I'm not familiar with wood screw sizes and think the system is retarded, it does not make me incompetent or stupid.

I have worked or studied in male dominated fields--when I worked at Valvoline, and now, when I'm studying to be a machinist.  In both, I have been treated with the utmost courtesy and respect.  Indeed, in the machine tool program at school, most of the guys respect my abilities and sometimes even ask me questions, if I've already made the part they're working on.  They assume that because I'm there, I am capable of doing the work.  This is the 21st century--women proved long ago that they are capable of doing work that has been traditionally male and with equal skill.

 Remember her?

I have known and met men who are completely useless when it comes to fixing things--just because you have a penis, it doesn't mean you are mechanically inclined.  Indeed, when my husband is with me and I get ignored, little do those salespeople know that I'm the handy one around the house.  My husband has many skills, but using tools and fixing things is not one of them.  On the other hand, I am the product of several generations of engineers.  My father, grandfather, brother, cousin, and I think my great grandfather were all engineers, and on the other side, my grandfather was a tool and dye maker.  If I didn't have some mechanical aptitude, I'd have to be adopted.

So take heed, arrogant hardware store employees: treat your female customers with respect, because they might know more than you do, and just can't find it in your poorly laid out store.  And ladies, you take heed, too--don't think that because you're a girl you can't fix stuff around the house.  As a matter of fact, a female friend and I replaced one of the light fixtures in my house a few months ago by ourselves (I did the wiring, she mostly held it up while I got it attached).

A penis is not required to use tools or fix things.