Places I Don't Work

Some of you have heard my rants about how often I get asked, "Do you work here?" while I'm out shopping.  I don't know why this happens to me, but it seems like it happens at least every couple of weeks (a look back through June reveals it as at least a monthly occurrence).  I feel like I should start wearing T-shirts that say, "No, I don't work here," just to head things off, but I don't think that would help, as it happens regardless of what I am wearing.  My own reaction varies depending on mood, from annoyed and disgusted to full on rage.  This has happened at so many places and so many times I can't remember them all.

Let's say that again for emphasis--I can't even remember how many times I've been asked this.

I don't know why everyone thinks I work wherever I am.  The more flattering theory that's been put forth is that I tend to be fairly confident and move like I know what I'm doing (mostly because I want to get my shit and get out, or because I spend way too much time in a given shop).  I really hope that's it, because otherwise it means that there is a look about me that says "career retail employee."  I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but I really want more out of my life than that.

So, I've decided to compile a list of places people have asked if I work at.  I'd like it noted that this is not a complete list (just what I can actively remember).  The hubby and I were discussing this last night, and he suggested it happened much more frequently in North Carolina, but I'm blocking it.  That's pretty likely, because there's a good portion of those two years I'll never get back (I don't really want them, either).  I'm also less likely to remember the ones that happened when I was in a good mood, because I brushed them off pretty quick.  I'd also like it noted that this does not include places that I actually worked at.  I got asked that a lot at the bookstore I worked at, mostly because the "uniform" was pretty loose, and I only ever wore store shirts when they made us.  Either way, that doesn't count, as I did work there.  I'm also not counting multiple times.  Still, my experiences out shopping really make me wonder about some of these people.  Do they just wander around asking people if they work there until they find someone who says yes?  How do they miss all the cues by which employees are identified, like uniforms?  How do they get through the day?!

So, below you'll find a brief list of places I don't work.  The first three are North Carolina or earlier, the remainder is from the last six months.

Walmart--While I did have a brief tenure as a cashier as Walhell, I was not employed by them when an elderly lady asked me for help.  I was also wearing a Hawaiian shirt, which in no way resembled the blue vest Walmart employees wear.

Target--I was waiting in the furniture aisle for the hubby to return with a cart so I could get a bookcase.  I was crouched down, trying to figure out the best way to lift it when I was approached by a couple in their 30s-40s.  I responded with disbelief, as I was wearing a black shirt and blue jeans, which is pretty much the opposite of the red shirt and khaki uniform they wear at Target.

Michaels--I'm honestly surprised this hasn't happened more often, since I'm in there all the time.  The lady in question apologized, and explained that she made the mistake because I looked like I knew what I was doing.  Because she was nice, I actually helped her.

Lowe's--I'll be honest, I probably overreacted with this one.  My job was really stressful at the time, I was moving in the middle of the summer, I was still having to live in a crappy apartment with poor management/maintenance, and I'd been trying to get packed.  I ducked out to Lowe's for more boxes and was counting some out to put in my cart when this old man asked me if I worked there.  I ignored him and put my boxes in the cart (trying to take the high road), but he was persistent.  I leaned over my boxes, red faced and kinda sweaty (it was hot!), looked him in the eye and said, "Do I look like I work here?"  (I was wearing a blue plaid shirt and sneakers.)
"I don't know, do you?" 
"Am I wearing a uniform?"
"Oh, so there has to be a uniform?"  For the record, Lowe's employees wear red vests with blue trim.
By this point I was pretty much a boiling pit of rage, and I don't really remember what I said next.  Whatever it was, he rode off on his scooter in a huff and I heard him berating someone else (presumably an actual employee, who was at least being paid to take his shit) a couple aisles over.

FYE--I was at least wearing a black shirt (uniform= black shirt and khakis), but seriously, it's a small store.  Just ask at the counter.  I was anxious enough that day I actually had to leave the store.

Barnes and Noble--This is another one I'm surprised I don't get more often.  I was in the bathroom and was asked while I was washing my hands.  Now, Barnes and Noble has a pretty loose dress code (they usually just have a lanyard), but it's never appropriate to ask for help in the bathroom, unless it's related to a bathroom supply issue (i.e. you're out of soap, etc.).  And you sure as hell don't keep talking to the person once they've told you they don't work there.  I don't care about what your other Barnes and Noble said or had.

Peddler's Mall--Technically I was asked if it was my booth, but I think that still counts, as booth owners get money for selling stuff there.  I'd set down my soon to be purchases to take a closer look at a jar of clowns and had just picked them back up when I was asked.  It was only two or three things, and I was wearing my coat.  It was also totally a grandma booth.  Why would you assume that person+picking up objects+leaving booth=owner of booth?

Meijer--This was actually last week.  The hubby and I had split up and agreed to meet at the door.  The bench in the entryway was full of a large person and their stuff, so I waited inside, near the electric carts.  I kind of needed a wall to lean on, as this was during the more sickly stage of the plague I had, and I wound up just having a seat on the lone electric cart.  I was holding a shopping bag, and not wearing red at all (black sweater, jeans).  I'm pretty sure I also looked half dead, at least I felt like it.  A guy with a cart load of stuff stopped and basically asked me if I was the one who marked his ticket (which Meijer doesn't even do).  I didn't have the energy to be snappy and just told him I didn't work there.

So yeah, those are the incidents I remember.  It bothers me that old people are more likely to ask me than young people.  Do they think all young people work in retail?  I'm also kind of disturbed the number of times I've gotten it at locations where the employees are identified with a red shirt or vest when I was wearing black.  What is wrong with people?  Just because I'm not wandering slack jawed and aimlessly, it doesn't mean I work there.  Please leave me alone.

It's been a while since there were any ponies.

On a side note, I wonder where it'll happen next.  Place your bets in the comments!