Linda's Guide to Cosplay

Earlier this month I went to an anime convention, at which I saw a lot of people cosplaying, with varying degrees of success.  This post would have gone up sooner, except I couldn't look at illustrations for it for a while after the con.

For the unenlightened, wondering, "Cosplay?  WTF is that?"  Cosplay is simply dressing up in a costume, usually as a character from something and not at Halloween.  It can be as simple as wearing a suit (provided that's par for whatever you're dressing up as) or incredibly complex, with multiple layers, makeup, and wacky hair.  Usually it's done at conventions, so everyone who sees you wants to take your picture and you get lots of attention.  Sounds like fun, right?

 Who doesn't want to look hot and sexy?

Well, yes and no.  You see, while I have seen some amazing cosplay, an awful lot of it is the most terrible thing most of us will see. 

These two things are not equal.  Not at all.

 
 Because I lack the chemistry background to actually develop a safe and functioning eye bleach, I have written a guide to cosplay instead.  With any luck some cosplayers (or even just one) will find it, and spare us some horror.  Now, I could make all these little rules and stuff, but really, good cosplay mostly boils down to one thing:

Make sure your costume/character is appropriate to your body.

Now, within that, there are a lot of things to consider.  What exactly do you mean by appropriate, Miss Linda?  Does this mean I can't cosplay a character of the opposite sex?  I'm confident with my appearance, why shouldn't I wear a string bikini?  What about my fursuit?  Can I still wear that?  Don't worry, we'll cover all of this, and more.

Size Appropriateness

One of the most glaring issues I saw at the recent convention I went to was the matter of size.  Now, let me be clear, there is nothing wrong with carrying around a little extra weight--most of America is on the heavy side these days, and I am the last person to be saying anything with my love handles and spare tire.  But this was an anime convention. Anime is fairly standard when it comes to body size and shape, and it mostly runs to insanely skinny.  Girls either look like this:

Well, maybe they don't all have pointy ears....

Or like this:

She's 18, I swear.

Anime girls have anatomy more physically impossible than Barbie.  They either have impossibly large breasts or they look like little girls.  If you are 40 lbs. overweight, there is virtually no way you can dress up as these chicks and look good.  For the love of god, pick a more realistic character, an outfit that provides more coverage, or just use the school uniform and go as one of their nameless classmates.

You have to be skinny to wear shit like this!!!!

Now, there are some characters who are a little more forgiving, and there are a few who have more realistic figures.  These are probably better choices.  Also, depending on your shape, there are even a handful of anime characters who can totally be pulled off by somebody on the bigger side.

For example, at the con I saw a couple of larger girls dressed as these two little guys.  They had long dresses and cute hats with the ears and they looked absolutely amazing.  I really wish I had actually taken a picture of them, because they were a great example of how to cosplay something awesome when you're not a twig.  I'm not saying you have to dress up like a roly poly animal, but if you must do your Evangelion cosplay, Misato in her uniform is probably going to be a lot more forgiving than Rei in her plug suit (that's the blue haired chick above).

Maybe not too forgiving, but if you're packing an extra 15-20 lbs you could probably get away with it.

And boys, don't think because I have said anything these rules don't apply to you.  Nothing will ruin your Vash the Stampede costume like an extra fifty pounds.  

I hate to sound mean, but if you are dressing up like a specific character, you need to look like that character.  Nothing ruins a well thought out cosplay like no one knowing who you are because you don't look anything like the character.  Weight is not the only issue.  Make sure your hairstyle is done right.  At this con, I saw a River Song (of Doctor Who) with platinum blonde hair and uber pale skin.

River Song, for reference.

I didn't even realize who she was supposed to be until my friend said something, and it did explain why she was wandering around with the eleventh doctor.  And I'll admit, memory had darkened the character's hair.  But River's hair is not bright yellow, and her skin tone is racially neutral.  Her hair is also extremely curly.  You need to match up the most identifying feature of a character, and that's not always the clothes.  The same also applies to make up.  Make sure it's well done.

 

This is not going to work if it's streaky.

You are playing a part here, look like it.  If you're not confident about your size or appearance, don't play a specific character.  There's a host of costumes that look good on anyone--pirates, princesses (Snow White looks particularly good on a bigger girl), steampunky stuff, school outfits (some of them) heck, even the Sisters of Battle uniform from Warhammer 40K.  Just make sure you wear something that works what you have to your advantage.  Yes, I would love to cosplay as Sailor Moon, but I don't have the figure for it, so I'll do something else instead.  I could totally work a Bible Black school uniform, although I'm not sure I want to deal with anyone who recognizes what it's from....

I would rock this.

Gender Bending

A lot of the time your favorite character might be the opposite gender.  This doesn't necessarily rule it out as a cosplay option, but proceed with caution.  In anime, some male characters already llok pretty girly and the work is done for you.  In other cases, not so much.  Depending on your body, you might be able to pull off playing a guy or a girl when you're not, but in other cases you might do better to just do an alternate reality version where the joker is a girl.

This might work a little too well, actually....

Guys, I'm sorry, but this is very rarely going to work for you.  Most of the cool female characters are violently female, so you're not going to be able to change things without losing the character altogether.  Unless you're on the slim side and kinda pretty, it's probably not going to work.

 

Bet you thought you wouldn't have to see this guy, didn't you?

If you're going to try, do it well.  (And this is actually my theory on cross dressing for guys in general.)  Shave your face, put on some lipstick (a shade that goes with your coloring) and maybe some eyeshadow.  Wear a nice wig.  Wear a bra with some falsies (the bra is so they don't drift on you).  If you're wearing a short skirt, shave your legs or wear stockings.  If you're dressing up as Rogue, tuck your junk back.  Ideally, you want guys at the con to see you and think, "Niice!"  Be convincing.  You might not be able to hide your adam's apple, but make an effort.  Don't just throw on a dress and call it done.

Dressing Up as Animals

I'll be honestly, nothing will hide your imperfections as well as a fur suit.  However, I find them terrifying.  I don't like not being able to see a person's face, to not be able to get those nonverbal cues.  This is a personal bias.  Still, be aware that fursuits are generally worn by furries, who are not always seen in the best light.  Unless you are a furry, stick with something a little less literal.  Also, My Little Pony is never appropriate for cosplay.  EVER.  The thought terrifies me so much I can't even google you up a picture.

Miscellaneous Advice

Finally, if you are going to cosplay, make sure your costume is well made.  Nothing can ruin a costume as quickly as ragged edges, or being made out of the wrong materials.  Make sure it's something you can walk around in all day, and make sure any props aren't too heavy or awkward to carry around.

That guy on the end went all day in that.

And remember, cosplay is all about having fun.  Everyone having fun, not just you.  Dress appropriately and don't ruin the fun for the rest of us. 

Thanks to all the random cosplayers whose pictures I pulled off the web (although I did take that last one myself).  

Also, two of the characters shown here are from porn!  Guess which two in the comments!