Aren't Those Free?

Tonight I had an extremely bizarre experience that I just have to share with you all.  Don't worry if you miss something the first time, because we'll be going over it in excruciating detail in a bit.

So, I'm in Barnes and Noble.  The husband and I are both total bibliophiles, and usually wind up there every weekend.  Anyway, the husband is off looking at who knows what, and I'm wandering over to stationary and getting ready to look at the rack of random doohickeys leftover from Christmas when this woman stops me and asks, "Do you have a library card I can borrow?"

Now, this strikes me as a bit odd, and I sort of cock my head a little in confusion and reply, "I'm pretty sure they give those out for free."  I have a brief moment of panic after saying this because I remember they ask for an address and maybe they wouldn't give her one because she's homeless or something.

"Oh, I'm from just over the Tennessee border and they said maybe if I could borrow one...."

At this point, I just shake my head, politely decline, and carry on my way.

I wander briefly through stationary, but the more I think about it, the more wierded out I get.  I grab the husband and insist we leave, because there's only so much weirdness I can deal with in any given location.  I tell him I'll explain in the car, because I'm worried she'll overhear me.  Although, as I check out and we leave, I scan the store vigorously and she's nowhere to be seen.  It's like she disappeared into a pocket dimension or something.  When we get to the car, I tell the husband what happened, and the more I think about it, the more WTF the whole thing was.

First of all, WE WERE IN A BOOKSTORE.  Why do you need a library card in a bookstore?!  What the hell?  Just buy the damned book!  Maybe she meant the discount card and just used the wrong word.  But if that were the case, her being from Tennessee wouldn't matter because B&N's discount card is good in all fifty states and I'm pretty sure you can sign up for it at any store.  Also, if that were the case, she would've corrected me when I made the "they give those out for free" comment.

Second, WHO BORROWS A LIBRARY CARD?!  They're free!  Even to the kiddies!  On a related note, who would loan one?  What if the person you loaned it to never returned the books?  You'd be on the hook for the replacement cost (which could potentially be really expensive if they borrowed something rare or out of print.)  And I'm not even going into the logistics of getting the card back.

Third, WE WERE THREE MILES FROM THE CLOSEST LIBRARY.  That's not exactly across town, but it's quite a ways away.  I mean, there were a lot of closer places and shopping centers she could have gone to.

Fourth, EVERY SINGLE LIBRARY  IN TOWN CLOSED AT 5PM.  It's Sunday, the library closes early.  I can't give an exact time for the incident, but it was just past 7:45pm when we got to the car, so basically the library had been closed for over two and a half hours when this happened.  Had she spent the last two hours looking for someone to loan her their card?  WTF?!

Fifth, WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GO?  Maybe she went to the bathroom, or was in a different aisle.  But the fact that she just disappeared afterwards is super suspect.

And finally, THE LIBRARY'S NOT EVEN OPEN TOMORROW.  I noticed this when I looked up the hours online.  Tomorrow is MLK's birthday, so they're closed.  Was she just going to take my card for like a day and a half or what?  What.  The.  Fuck.

Given the location of our B&N, we're thinking her plan was to borrow someone's card to checkout some books and then maybe try to sell them back at the nearby used bookstore.  If that was the case, I'll at least give her credit for not using her own card, like the guy who got caught trying to sell library books while I worked there did.  But still, there was absolutely nothing about whatever she was trying to do that wasn't sketchy as hell.