So, Sailor Moon is a terrible, terrible anime. It's all monster of the week with ridiculous monsters, the plot has holes you could drive a truck through, and our heroine is the most annoying and stupid girl ever to be created and I spend at least half of every episode simultaneously wishing something bad would happen to her and wondering how on God's green earth SHE is the one to whom earth's safety is entrusted. She's the only hero I've ever seen who defeats her enemies by feeling sorry for them and offering to be their friend.
"You're trying to kill me because you have no friends? That's so sad! I'll be your friend!"
Seriously, no one really has legs that long.
But I'd better take a step back before I start gushing on all of the awesome that Sailor Moon is. And if you haven't watched it all the way and plan on doing so, stop reading now, because there will be spoilers. Not that you can't figure out what's going to happen, but don't blame me if things get ruined for you. Oh, and don't watch the English dub, it's terrible and they changed all the names.
I also feel it prudent to point of that some of the images I'm using here are from the manga, as well as the anime. Yes, there is a manga, and they're going to be rereleasing it in September.
Done? Good. For those of you who will never watch Sailor Moon because you think it's too girly, or aren't into anime, and are wondering why I'm devoting entirely too much time and space to it, here's a brief summary:
Usagi Tsukino thinks she's a normal girl, but she's really Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon (yes, that is what the full show title actually translates to), as revealed to her by her pet talking cat, Luna. Along with her friends she saves the world from a variety of energy sucking enemies, some of whom are actually out to get her personally. It get insanely involved and complicated from there, so check this out for the full scoop. You've got about five seasons, and half the time everyone dies and the universe resets. No, really.
If you skip to about 3:00, you can see the ghosts of her dead friends lend her the strength to defeat the evil queen (who's bitter because Sailor Moon got the guy), then you get to watch her die, and you get a lovely review of the horrible ways her friends died. Next episode? Everything's fine and everyone has completely forgotten everything. And this is at the end of the first season.
Of the seven major story arcs, four of the villains are out to get Sailor Moon personally. Well, or her annoying spawn from the future. Not that I can blame them, because Usagi is stupid.
This is when she first gets her powers. You know Artemis never had this trouble with Sailor Venus. Skip ahead to 3:30 to see how her first fight goes. She does improve over the series, however, someone else always has to actually do the damage, and she is prone to dropping or misplacing her crescent moon wand.
Yes, she loses their most powerful weapon in her bag.
As for her kid from the future (don't even ask), well, if this little girl:
doesn't fill you with utter hatred by the time you've seen her in one episode, then you are surely as full of goodness and light as Sailor Moon herself. On the bright side, though, she is smarter and more competent than our heroine.
Speaking of smarter and more competent people, all of the rest of the Sailor Soldiers meet that description. They are the unsung heroes of the show. Sure, Usagi puts in the coup de grace or heals people or whatnot, but if the other girls didn't do their job first, she wouldn't have a chance to. The outer planets (Sailors Saturn, Pluto, Neptune, and Uranus) are particularly powerful, although we rarely see Saturn or Pluto in action.
Sailor Saturn destroys planets. Hell yeah!
Neptune and Uranus become pretty regular characters later on, and they've really got their crap together. I think they also get some of the better character development because 1) they're significantly older than the inner planet scouts 2) they get more screen time than Pluto and Saturn and 3) they're lovers. That last is one of the many reasons not to watch the english dub version. The show was sanitized for the kiddies when it aired here in the states and the two girls were suddenly "cousins." A lot of footage had to be cut. These two have some serious class, and are very devoted to each other.
Aren't they cute?
Speaking of romance, I will say that the overall romance of the show is really awesome. Usagi and Mamoru (aka Tuxedo Mask) are your primary couple, and, especially when you get into the mythology of the show, their relationship is done really well, although I have no idea why he puts up with her. That's love. You almost feel bad for Usagi when Nehelenia steals him away with an enchantment in Sailor Stars. That is, you feel sorry for her if you haven't taken a sadistic delight in her having to walk barefoot in the snow for miles and then through thorns to get to him and the final battle.
Speaking of Sailor Stars, though, I think that is my favorite season. You get the full cast of Sailor Soldiers (minus Chibi Moon, thank god), plus you also get the Sailor Stars, who also add in a bit more controversy. See, originally the artist intended that the three visiting Sailor Soldiers would be girls disguised as boys, because all Sailor Soldiers are girls. For whatever reason, the networks (and we're talking in Japan here) decided that would be scandalous and that they would be boys, but turn into girls. Also, you get the best attack EVAR:
Yes, she really is saying, "Star Gentle Uterus."
And on that note, goodnight everybody.
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